i want to date the girl at the mac counter in macy's

i want to date the girl at the mac counter in macy's. she stands there, in her black baby doll shirt and black jeans, an ever-present smile on her face and tempts me from across the tables of the food court. i know we would be perfect together. she is beautiful: i like beautiful people. she wears makeup, so she must be a creative person. she wears matching colors, so she must be intelligent. she works in retail, so she must be introspective and multi-cultural.

how does a guy like me meet the girl at the mac counter in macy's? i don't think i could pretend to browse her shop and hope to stumble into a conversation with her.

"do you have the new haute voltage dada delight cheekhue? will that go well with the galvanize lipstick and the powersurge eye kohl?"

it would never work.
no mac girl is going to go out with a guy that uses the same cosmetics as her. forget the fact that it's a little creepy, she knows that the guy would always use up the last of the lipstick and never replace it.

i could go for the "it's for my girlfriend" approach, but that casts me immediately into the "taken" category. sometimes this scenario works, when the girl likes the idea of meddling with forbidden territory. if she does, you know that from the moment things get serious, you'll always wonder if she's fallen for some guy that wears the viva glam iii line. anyway, it's probably not too likely to happen unless you're of the russell crowe variety.

maybe it's just a brain freeze from sipping my orange julius, but i think she just smiled at me. this mac girl is really into me. o.k., i'm going to go talk to her...

one last tug at my straw.

i decide to go for the "mom's birthday" ploy. but as i'm walking up to the mac counter, i'm suddenly distracted by the silvery distorted m • a • c across her chest.

i lose my concentration.

i forget where i am, what i'm doing. i catch myself and glance up in time to see her "may i help you" smile turn into a look of disgust and aversion.

i've blown it. even the "mom's birthday" approach won't work now. i saunter past her with my head hung low, dissappointed in my own maleness.

i can't believe i blew it with the girl at the mac counter in macy's... hey...


that estee lauder girl is pretty cute....