mister generous

we arrived at the inwood about one hour before our movie. we could both easily spend an hour in the bookstore next door or the lounge, having cocktails. i was in more of a drinking mood than a book browsing mood, so we purchased our tickets and headed into the lounge.
as soon as we sat down at the bar, we were thrust into the middle of a conversation occurring on either side of us.
"harvey gough is a first rate a-hole!"
"yeah, but his burgers are good, so i pretty much just bend over and take it."

mister generous sat to andy's left. loud, obnoxious, and clearly quite drunk, he shared his indiscreet opinion with a young gentleman close to our age sitting around the corner of the bar. andy and i sat there, silent and smiling. i didn't want to get involved, and i don't think andy did either.
"these guys probably like him. you guys like him don't you?"
andy and i have no idea who he is talking about. well, actually, i have some idea.
"goff's hamburgers, right?" now i've done it. we're in the conversation now. seeing his chance, the young man to our right pays his tab and leaves.
"a round of drinks for these guys, bartender. i just buried my two best friends today. everytime i bury one of my friends, i come to this bar and buy a round of drinks for everybody. but these people in this town are all assholes. you know what's so special about monte carlo? do you?" he's looking right into my eyes at this point. "ah! he knows! he knows! he knows! he knows, but he isn't going to say it 'cause he's an asshole! i have four houses all over the world, i've got one in highland park, one in monterrey, and one in boulder. i rent my house in boulder to oshmans. you know all those sports people?"

i'm still waiting for the location of his fourth house. i assume it's monte carlo, because, well, you know why.

"let me tell you something. you guys go to the races?"
"no, not really."
"aassss-hollls! you guys want to know the secret?" he's leaning in close to andy now. "i'll tell you guys what the problem is.... damn, this girl over here that's talking to that guy... she's beautiful! listen, i buried my best friend today, he was from this town and he was the best friend i ever had! look, i own three houses: two in higland park, one in monterrey, and one in colorado. you want to know what the problem is?"

"what's the problem?"

"i've got a house here in highland park and i open up all the doors in back in the evenings and sit out there and play my harmonica. steve miller... most people don't know this now... steve miller is the best goddam guitarist that ever lived. do you know who steve miller's dad is? he knows!"
"no, i don't know. i know that he's from dallas."
"he's from dallas. but you wouldn't know that because you... are... an assss-hhhooollle! who is the greatest harmonica player ever?"

at this point, we've been served our second round of cocktails care of mister generous. i tell him that i personally think that john popper is the best harp player alive.

"who? who?! what the hell? hahaha! tell him he's an asshole!"
"he say's you're an asshole."
"no, man. i said, you tell him he's an assshoole."
"you're an asshole."

i ask mister generous his name.

"i'm not telling anyone my name, man. i live in this town and they're all assholes. you know what, you want to know what the problem is? i'll tell you what the... man, check out those pretty women there, man....
look," again, he leans in close as if to impart the meaning of life, "you guys want to make a million dollars? double-u double-u double-u dot spy safe dot com. i own it. spy safe dot com, dot org, dot anything."

"what's the web site about?" web sites, now this guy's talking my language. i'm actually thinking he might be proposing a business opportunity here. maybe i will be able to buy that vespa afterall!"
"you know someone that is a revolutionary... you come to our site... ... ... ...
... and we'll kill 'em!"

continued here