part one
michael, my roommate at the time, had convinced me to go out with him and his boyfriend. i knew michael from work, where i sold software and he counted beans. he was a very sweet and caring person and never made me feel uncomfortable, so his offer of his extra room was a great way for me to recover from the heartache when she moved back to canada. i was in it bad. it had all happened so quickly and it seemed to take forever to get over. i didn't want to go out and meet people. i wanted to stay in that room and figure out how to change it all back.

actually, it took several tries for michael to get me to go out with them. partially because the thought of a piano bar made me nauseous, partially because i was afraid it was a gay piano bar. but the third time they asked, i went reluctantly.

i wasn't drinking anything at the time. it seemed too easy to drown sorrows with the alcohol and forget my problems. i didn't want to forget my problems. i'm not sure why, now, but i felt the need to remain miserable.

so i'd order water, while the table around me drank and sang along with annoying 70's and 80's songs. occasionally, i'd find myself chiming in to some creedence or something else. but i refused to sing don mclean.

i went back the next week because of her. they buzzed around with their cocktail trays in the air and their t-shirts tied into little knots in the middle of their backs. she knew michael as a regular. so he had made sure that she waited on us. i had to ask for my water four times before she remembered to bring it to me. for the first month that i knew her, i swore that she had short term memory loss. later i would learn that she was working two jobs and going to school full time, and getting someone a glass of water was not something she cached high in her to-do list. i tipped her well that first night for the two glasses that she eventually brought to the table. and i went back the next week for more water and songs i couldn't stand hearing one more time.

by the third visit, the water came more frequently, i sang more of the songs, and i found myself having a good time.

"you have the most amazing back."

i couldn't believe i had said it. what an absolutely idiotic thi....

"that's the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me. thank you!"

she was standing there, smiling at me. her frenzied life had come to a halt. crocodile rock banged on in the background and people swayed behind us on the bleachers, their drinks held high.

"i'm rachel."

"i'm mark.

listen... if i were to ask you out, would you say yes?"