part three                            ...or go to the beginning....

once things had been returned to the way they were before that winter, i moved into her house in north austin. it meant subletting my apartment out to a co-worker, but it also meant cheaper rent and sleeping in a bed with someone every night.

i would take her to work whenever i could. some nights, it was to the bar. she would ask me to stay, and occasionally i would. i had started to drink again and since they were free, i wasn't turning them away. sometimes we would end up having too much fun together at the bar.

other times i would take her to the hospital for her second job. usually i would drop her off 10 in the evening and be back to pick her up at 6 in the morning. i honestly loved doing it.

we had a favorite hang-out down the street from the piano bar that we would go to before her shifts and play trivia. we were there two or three nights a week. sudden impulses and urges sometimes lead to stares and smiles as we emerged together from the bathroom upstairs.

my boss didn't like me changing my hair color to red and used it as a basis for termination citing unprofessional behavior. she carried me financially for more than three months while i changed careers and decided on using my creativity to make money. money can be a strain on any relationship. i wish it weren't so, but i felt inferior because of my dependency and i think she kept tally of what was given and what was received. in one way or another, this would remain an issue in our relationship from that point forward.