my amazing powers of jellybean counting

if i had to pick one superhero power to describe myself as a toddler, it would have to do with a contest that was held at jack-and-jill daycare and preschool when i was in first grade. i wasn't adept at jump-rope or hopscotch, although i can do alot with scotch now-a-days, but one late fall in 1976 i realized my true calling in life.

during recess, that fatefull autumn day, a large jar appeared under the sheet metal covering at the north end of the playground. a small sign attached to the glass jar contained a string of words which my young mind assembled to describe a challenge of ultimate perception. the 2 gallon jar contained an unrevealed amount of jelly belly jelly beans. the goal, of course, was to "guess" the number of beans in the jar. the closest estimate would receive the jar, and it's contents, as the ultimate prize of bean counting that has ever existed.

my initial examination of the jar led me astray. for a moment, i actually believed that this was just a game of chance. upon deeper thought, and a brief intermission of hide-and-seek, i realized that this prize was mine. i had the power to count every single bean in the jar, if i just put my powers to use. i looked to my left, then my right, to make sure no one was watching. slowly, with eyes scanning every inch, i made my way in a slow circle around the glass prize. putting my amazing mathmatical powers to work, i calculated what i felt was the nearest approximation of true jelly bean volume of that jar. having only one opportunity to enter my superior deductive abilities into the contest, i orbited the sugary-dense container one last time, double checking my intricate figures for any possible errors. i committed my final equation to paper and slipped it into the box next to the trophy.

the next day's recess was met with an assembly of the entire faculty and student body of jack-and-jill daycare and preschool. the little slips of paper had been tallied and a winner had been determined, along with two runners-up who would in turn receive small bags of their own jelly belly brand jelly beans.

when the winner was finally announced, i realized how accurate my powers were. with only a 12 bean discrepancy, i had won the grand prize, more than six months worth of jelly belly confection totalling nearly 13,000 beans. the level of pride i felt has not been equalled to this day. i would be lying to say that it was all strawberry shortcake and key lime pie combinations from that day forward. sure, there was an unspoken comraderie with ol' ronnie regan, but success takes it's toll on even the lowliest of bean counters in the world. sure, there was fame and a fortune of 4 calories per bean, but the sugar rush would not last.

i moved on to big league chew and pop rocks a few years later, forgetting completely about my former success as an estimate king. eventually, i would turn to daquiri ice ice-cream from baskin robins and my life would spiral downward.

but to this day, i cannot pass the container kiosk at the local grocery without remembering that warm october day in 1976 when i became one with the jelly bean.