on friday, i cancelled my phone service with one provider to start a new plan with a different provider. i did this because i was extremely frustrated with service and support. so i started contacting people and telling them that i had a new phone number.

three days and over 85% dropped calls later, i called the old provider back and asked them to kindly not cancel my service as i had requested.
when the new provider's store opens in the morning i will be a few hours over my 72 hour return period. i am hoping that they will refund my money and let me out of the contract without penalty.

i got burned on this one. i don't think i'm going to be overjoyed to remain with the old provider, but their service was leaps and bounds above what i experienced in only two days of using the competition.

who do you use for wireless phone connections and what sucks or doesn't suck about them?

bill works at the little comedy theatre in the corner of the shopping strip. it's easy to miss the place if you're not looking for it, wedged behind the elevator and between the comic store and the dry cleaners.

he'll come into the store just about every afternoon, carrying his casio keyboard, calling out for tim or alison. in the seven months i've worked in the store, he has not ever remembered my name. each time, it's as if he doesn't even recognize my face. i'm not sure why this bothers me.

bill has gone through some really tough times. the chemicals in his brain sometimes cause a mis-fire and he can go off on violent diatribes. we seldom see these rants, unless he's forgotten to take his medication. sadly there have been occasions where we have had to force bill to leave because of his abusive speech. he's been abandoned by friends and family many times because of this behavior, but has been embraced by the majority of the people who work in the strip.

his favorite forms of communication are his keyboard, on which he plays melodies just recognizable enough to tease your memory and stick in your brain, and jokes. really bad jokes. bill's jokes are not funny. often they are crude. but bill lives for the reaction, so i'll usually chuckle and shake my head.

perhaps one day, bill will remember my name and i will find him funnier than ever before.

"our entire universe is just the smallest part of an atom in a giant toe."

-j. kleindl

i've forgotten how to type.

congratulations michael and ari!

welcome aboard gabriel. let us know when you get your website up.

somehow, it came up at dinner this evening. while we sat outside at my parents' ranch we discussed events in my past. kevin, sarah, jefe, katie and i listened as my father did his best to embarass me. they told of the time i almost fell off the wall of a spanish mission at one year old. then my mom says, "well he did fall off that wall several years later."

"oh, you mean when i fell off the rafters at school? i wrote about that on my site a couple of days ago."

my mom gave this blank stare. "i thought you fell off a wall."

at some point in my life, i forgot that i never told my parents the truth about what happened that day twenty-five years ago.

my dad says, "all we knew was that he came home with a phone book taped to his arm."

true true.

i stepped up onto the short brick wall and jumped, arms outstretched, to the rafters above. grabbing onto the steel rebar framing, i hung there for a second. then i began to swing. i had to build up a little momentum.

grab the next one and swing.

switching hands and clinching the part at the bottom of the "v." swing again.

somewhere in the middle i missed. the distance was enough that my forward motion jerked my hold loose and my legs went up over my head. i had nothing to grab onto and my head sought the concrete as it's final resting place. twisting my body in mid air, in mid terror, i am able to get my right arm under me. my elbow is straightened to brace for impact and when my hand does hit flat on the ground, my elbow doesn't remember which way to bend.

folding underneath me with a loud "crack," i feel a tinge of pain shoot into my shoulderblade as my elbow collapses under my own weight in the opposite direction it was intended to go. the first few chuckles are ignorant of the result of my acrobatic dismount. i sit up quickly and hold my arm to my belly. it looks allright. there is a little swelling and it is pretty sore, but it looks like i got away with another one.

i let go of my wrist and start to test it.

from 90 to 44 degrees, everything seems to be working properly. at 45 degrees, the triceps instinctively do their job and contract. my arm flings itself backwards to the horror of those around me and drains all the blood from my head. tell those biceps to retreat! i grab the unresponsive limb and force it back against my torso.

the old lady monitoring recess, who was actually probably in her twenties, ignored the tears and explanation of an errant joint. after several minutes of waterworks and loud shrieks, she told kevin, one of the few witnesses, to escort me to the office where they would deal with it. i held onto my arm tight. they replaced my biological sling with one made from a towel and "a thru m" of the yellow pages.

they put two five-inch steel pins into my arm that afternoon. four months later, the doctor would let me pull them out myself. i don't remember enjoying it too much.

it's important not to force it. there's something there.


also:
i will be back in the capital thursday night for a couple of days. guess i should do my taxes before i leave.

and:
it's time to begin. i only have a month and two days left.

oh, and in case you didn't know:
i really like her a lot and she likes me too. and she told me i could tell everyone that. in fact, she said "it can't be avoided."

so there!

she gave the perfect kiss.

i think that i had completely forgotten what it was like. or perhaps i never really knew. there was no doubt this time, she knew exactly how to kiss me. it was as though every nerve ending got individual attention.

how is it that she knew how to touch me just right? does she caress and hold the way that she wants to be caressed and held? she touched my hand with a light brush of her fingers, the tips tracing the tendons on the back of my hand. when she pressed her lips to mine, she held the back of my neck with a firm but soft cradle.

we lay next to each other in the dark. i slipped in and out of sleep, not knowing which was a dream and which was reality. when i closed my eyes she was there, just as i wanted her to be. when they opened, i embraced her to make myself sure she was really there.

i could say that everything changed that evening, but i think that things had begun to change when we first met two weeks before. it felt natural to hold her hand and kiss her lips. it felt like we had waited too long to do so.

it's a dangerous place to be in.

especially when you're guarded by the calloused scars of past heartbreaks. you get these moments where you forget, becoming overwhelmed by the feeling. you know... somewhere between your heart and your stomach. the one that feels kind of like the onset of a tums commercial, only more pleasant.

then something snaps. you shake it off and remember that it's not good to feel that way. stifle it quick. you're just being childish. that sort of behavior will only get you hurt again.

it's when you can't stop thinking about her that it really becomes a problem. what the hell is wrong with you? this is the stuff blues songs are written about.

but i have trouble convincing myself of the reasons that it is wrong. maybe i'm timid because my motivation has changed. maybe it's not a bad move, it just needs to be handled cautiously. slowly.

it's san francisco, los angeles, raleigh, seattle, portland, austin, houston, and dallas. but dallas is different. dallas is close. dallas is real. dallas can be touched, held, spoken to, and damaged. the only one that can actually be crushed to death, dallas is a risk.

dallas makes the scars pulse in defense.

dallas could rock my world.

line item number one: jeremy taught me a trick just now to get past blogger hiccups. he rawks!

someone is flying american airlines and using my aadvantage card number. i keep getting more and more aadvantage miles every month.

thanks, buddy.